Horoscopes

Horoscopes: 14 March 2017

AQUARIUS After demolishing two plates of Teviot nachos in a new PB of seven minutes and 42 seconds, you adopt a food baby. You name him Eric and you love him dearly. SCORPIO Have you ever noticed how sexually attractive wallpaper is? No, you...

Horoscopes: 8th March 2017

AQUARIUS You discover Aldi’s chocolate crunch cereal, and promptly treat yourself to 12 boxes of the sugary goodness. After five straight weeks of the same breakfast, it will begin to look like a terrible decision. SCORPIO Inspired by Straight...

Horoscopes: 1st March 2017

AQUARIUS Clarify your stance on pineapple and pizza before shit hits the fan. Choose carefully. SCORPIO Don’t be afraid to rely on others for help sometimes! Your flatmates in particular really love you even when everyone isn’t always on the...

Horoscopes: 24th January 2017

Aquarius As you put together yet another soya latte you realise that despite the disparaging comments, working as a barista really isn’t that bad. All this pressure to go off into a ‘high flying’ career and work yourself to death in London...

The Student Newspaper 2016