900dadporno-jason-taelliousflickr_opt

Charles Nurick reviews My Dad Wrote a Porno

Our dads can all be embarrassing at times. Whether it be making seal noises in a restaurant because they are hungry, telling your girlfriend about the time you once threw up on a minister during your christening, or casually saying ‘me and your mum are just off dogging’ when going for a dog walk (yes, sadly, all these things are true).

But perhaps the father of Jamie Morton takes the biscuit. He decided to don his writer’s hat and have a go at erotic fiction. While most of us might try to run from such an uncomfortable predicament, Jamie instead decided that it would make for an excellent podcast; and how thankful we can be for it.

Gathering his two friends James Cooper and Alice Levine (of BBC Radio 1 fame), each week sees Jamie read a chapter of his dad’s work, while we all laugh, cringe and question what on earth is going on. It is a simple format that works wonderfully well, especially if you remind yourself that the sentences Jamie is saying were actually written by his old man.

Perhaps it would be different if the content was good, but the attempted erotic is about as unsexy as it is possible to imagine. The plot – and do not worry, there is a plot – follows our protagonist Belinda Blumenthal as she tries to navigate the surprisingly sex-filled industry of pots and pans, relying largely on her ability to satisfy multiple men (and women) in a short space of time.

Everything about the writing is ridiculous. Plot twists see Belinda handcuffed in a maze at a charity tombola, men in black thongs, and muddy symbolic markings smeared on naked women. Oh, and that is only one chapter. The writing ranges from awful – the phrase ‘vaginal lids’  is especially bad – to downright wrong – YOU CAN’T FINGER A WOMAN’S CERVIX! Even Jamie’s dad’s pseudonym of Rocky Flintstone is so wonderfully tacky.

Now, as it comes to the end of its second season, My Dad Wrote A Porno is definitely worth investing your time in.

Just a warning though: listening to it in public may result in odd looks because of your uncontrollable laughter, so it is definitely one for the headphones.

Image: Taellious @ Flickr

Related News

Leave a Reply

The Student Newspaper 2016