So, the story that’s got everybody’s knickers in a twist this week is the dodgy working relationship between Liam Fox and his best friend Adam Werritty. Yes, it’s true, it’s quite naughty to take your friend along to important defense meetings without security vetting, but let’s take a step back and view the situation from his perspective. Could it be that Fox is just honouring the BFF code? Everyone knows that, whatever the perks of your profession are, you are obligated to share them with your besty.

While at uni this might mean serving your friends doubles when they pay for singles or letting them into the cinema free, as defense secretrary this means letting your homebud into multi-million dollar business deals in Dubai. Just because the perks are a bit meatier doesn’t mean the rules change.

The best part of the whole controversy is, of course, how the papers have decided to handle the issue. If there’s ever any doubt as to whether or not adults are just children in big bodies, one has only to cast a glance at what journalists are up to in order to reassure themselves. There’s the obvious ‘Fox-hunting’ pun, which is being milked to within an inch of its life, but this is forgivable- it’s not every day that such good headline fodder falls into your lap, which is why this column is entitled ‘Oh, shit’. 

Then there’s the gleeful gossip which surrounded the plot-twist, as Fox’s cover story about Werritty’s “chance” encounter with a businessman at a restaurant fell short and it became clear that he had, in fact, been telling fibs. The BBC, with its live updates, has acted as the playground’s chief gossip-monger, the one who’s really proud of himself, acting under a guise of sophistication but really just as pleased about the whole affair as the scummy, Daily Mail bitches who shamelessly dish the dirt and don’t care if you know they enjoy it.
The best articles, however, are the ones that refer to Werrity as a ‘friend’, in inverted commas, as if to imply that there’s just a hint of bumsex involved. In the age of tabloid scandal, it's not enough to have stories about politicians telling porkies about their carelessness with national security. Instead, to sell their papers, they have to subtly, in a libel-free way, plant the idea in your mind that Werritty might not be ‘just a friend’, but a friend with (MoD clearance) benefits.