EUFSA produce this season’s greatest underdog story

After a dominant double in the 2016/17 season, EUFSA were nominated to represent the University of Edinburgh in the Scottish 6B BUCS league. I trust you have all heard of Leicester’s Premier League triumph, Cross’ defeat of Taylor or David’s embarrassment of Goliath. Well, these great stories pale in comparison to EUFSA’s conquering of a nation.

The mouthful that is our team acronym stands for Edinburgh University Football Supporters Association. This does not mean we are all parka wearing, chanting Hibernian fans, but it does mean we all have a love for the game and playing it properly. With a mix between Tony Pulis and Johan Cruyff’s total football we have rocketed to the top of the table, winning nine out of ten games.

A special mention must go to the new boys; Sam Butler-Sloss with two first-half hattricks, Joe Magee-Billson, our new social secretary, Hugh Russell-Parsons, the safest hands in Edinburgh, Jordan ‘only scores screamers’ Ferguson, Steven Frӧlke, the Dutch mastermind, Prince Gideon Lovell-Smith and Rick Samu, the wall Donald Trump wishes he had.

However, this team was carried on the creaky joints of veteran fourth years. Their fresh faces of freshers are long gone, but they brought experience and poise in times of panic. Jack Willows’ bottomless fountain of advice, Calum Ferry’s stern discipline, Ruaridh Cain’s acquired humour, Michael Cowie scoring his only goal after a long four years and Cameron Davies’s Le Tissier-esque balls of steel.

The only loss of the season in BUCS came at the hands of West Lothian. At 17 years old their ‘beer-less’ stomachs, failing beards and raw talent was too much for us. However, given our chance at revenge we modelled ourselves on Hamlet’s vengeance of Claudius, walking away with a 6-0 win, with swift one-twos and barbaric intensity propelling us onward.

The penultimate game of the season, away to Heriot-Watt 4s, represented the EUFSA season perfectly. Violent up and downs, with the score line swinging in the favour of one team to the next. With 10 minutes to go and 5-3 down, salt was rubbed into our aching wounds as John Booth was impaled by the keeper and limped off. But with EUFSA blood in our veins and respect for each other in our hearts, we powered on. Our rock at the back, Andrew Nicholson, become our diamond at the front, scoring with his first touch after his positional change, before audaciously scoring with his next touch to make it 6-5.

To our fans’ delight, high scoring games have been a regular throughout the season, this can be accredited to our fearsome front three. Daniel Sullivan whose well-placed finishing is only outdone by his perfectly placed hair, Will Bates’ dogged attitude that inspires us all and John Booth, a mountain that can’t be moved. Their talent only allowed to blossom thanks to the attacking style of play initiated by our flare-filled full backs, Beinn Mackay and Baillie Mclean.

Yes, there have been times where we have struggled to field a team on a Sunday, and yes, there have been times where our captain, Ollie Dunn, has had momentary blips in leadership and turned up drunk 20 minutes after kick-off, but without coaching from the University or monetary sponsorship, this Intramural minnow has managed to win a national league title.

Goodbye and good luck to our final year players and welcome to those of you that join next year, with our new co-captains John Booth and myself, Simon Hall, ready to steer this ship to more success.

 

Image: Edinburgh University Football Supporters Association

 

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The Student Newspaper 2016