Jen Bowden reads the riot act on Hollywood’s Bright Young Felons, and asks why celebrities receive such unwarranted leniency

Celebrities have been in public favour for as long as we can remember. However, unlike the movie stars of old, whose public image was meticulously and ruthlessly protected, modern celebrities are often more famous for their wrongdoings than their talents.  You’d never hear of Grace Kelly downing a bottle of vodka then getting behind the wheel, or Marilyn Monroe beating up a fellow actress to the point where she’s jailed for assault, but for a modern celebrity such instances just mean more column inches for their latest movie/single/fragrance. So, the question is, why are modern celebrities so prone to bad behaviour, and why are their punishments different from other criminals?

This week American citizens saw football star O.J Simpson convicted on 12 charges including assault, armed robbery and kidnapping.  Though he was acquitted in 1995 of murdering his ex-wife and her friend, many Americans voiced their satisfaction that he’d finally been put behind bars.  Thirteen years to the day (clearly an unlucky number for Mr. Simpson) since his previous trial’s glove-focused disintegration, he was found guilty of armed robbery in this high profile court case.  His future certainly looks shaky, as a possible life sentence has been suggested.  However, while O.J’s punishment is being greeted in some quarters as suitable and not before time, many other celebrity criminals are let off a little too lightly.

Take Paris Hilton for example, a self-employed ‘socialite’ whose day job consists of very little other than brushing her hair, and whose unsavoury evening activities keep cropping up on the Internet.  Originally fined a meagre £582 and given a three-year probation period for drink driving, Paris managed to somehow re-offend.  She clearly didn’t understand the terms of her probation, managing to drive on a suspended license with her lights off, which resulted in the famous jail sentence fiasco.  

I don’t use the word fiasco lightly; her 45 day actually had people sighing with relief that a celebrity was finally going to serve a decent sentence worthy of the crime. When it was reduced to 23 days, the public didn’t seem really surprised that the old ‘good behaviour’ excuse had bailed out yet another starlet. The wealthy heiress was released only 3 days into her sentence and ordered to stay in her house with a tag around her ankle.  One can only assume that the tag was more of a punishment than the house confinement to such a fashionista. Her brush with the law seems to have inspired a trend for starlets getting arrested: Lindsay Lohan was arrested for DUI and cocaine possession, and Paris’s weasel-faced ‘frenemy’ Nicole Richie was charged with driving under a suspended license and heroin possession.

Another example closer to home is disgraced footballer and all-round bad guy Joey Barton, a man with an inexplicable temper and thousands in the bank.  25 year old Barton has been jailed for assault twice, including an incident where he subbed out a cigarette on a boy’s face, and another where he punched a 16 year old after punching another man 20 times earlier that evening.  Charming.  

Yet, despite his jail sentence and clear lack of discipline, Newcastle United manager Kevin Keegan clearly thought he was worth another shot.  He, like Paris, served a ridiculous amount of his sentence: 74 days out of a given 6 months is clearly unacceptable.  Of course football has its own rules, where a suitable punishment for assault, this time on teammate Ousmane Dabo, cost Barton 6 matches.  Matches, not months in prison, as many say it should have been.

And how can we forget good old Pete Doherty?  With a previous-list as long as his relationship with Kate Moss, how did he get away with only 18 months of rehab and a 2 year supervision order?  Easy: he’s famous. Possession of crack cocaine, and heroin, driving offences, alleged robbery and blackmail, all offences that would cost the regular criminal a good 7 year stint in prison, left Doherty laughing.  Well, maybe not laughing, but certainly free to continue a tour with Babyshambles.

Appropriately really, as celebrity justice itself is a shambles. When stars are punished for their wrongdoings, they are treated like fallen heroes rather than common criminals.  Where ordinary members of the crime-committing-public receive maximum sentences in some cases, celebrities are treated with cotton wool.  Though it’s not an explicit failing in the justice system, the fact that such people have the ability to afford teams of the best lawyers advantages them, and their fame influences opinions in a way other criminals could only hope for. Ordinary criminals don’t have their sentences cut short, or their multi-million pound jobs waiting for them when they get out, so why should it be different for those in the public eye? 

Anne and canoe-enthusiast John Darwin each got 6 years for fraud. Although what the Darwins did was wrong, they didn’t cause anyone any physical harm (although the emotional damage caused is not to be discounted). Joey Barton seriously injured a fellow player and received a 6-match ban and served a pathetic 74-day prison sentence. It just goes to show that there’s no room for justice in the world of celebrity. The courts, it would seem, don’t quite reach the stars.