Originally published February 22 2011

As the university once again plunges into the annual circus of EUSA elections, one can’t help but notice just how wasteful the whole affair is.

Given all these unpleasantries, you would think that these elections actually mattered. Alas, the reality is that the ultimate result of the elections makes virtually no difference to how EUSA is run. At the end of the day, EUSA’s funding is all provided by the university, which sets pretty tight restrictions on which policies can be implemented.

 This is reflected clearly in the non-commital language used by candidates; phrases like “I will fight for X” or “do you want X? Vote for Y” are endemic and give the student electorate the impression that their candidate will actually produce some results. Making these empty promises has virtually no consequence, as EUSA officials aren’t in office long enough to be held to account. There’s also the fact that no one really cared enough to do anything when Adam Ramsey didn’t deliver £5000 for every student and Thomas Graham didn’t deliver get us on-campus dentist. Let’s not even talk about the 24-hour library.

Of course the real reason that these elections are being fought over at all is the fact that EUSA sabbatical positions are ridiculously lucrative. You’re essentially getting a year long paid internship, complete with expenses-paid field trips and student discounts, and at the end you’re almost guaranteed a career in politics. I would run if I’d had the good sense to get involved with EUSA as a fresher, but quite frankly the very idea of socialising and working with those moral hypocrites makes my stomach turn.

For those willing to sell their souls in such a manner, the only remaining hurdle is running in an election against two or three other candidates, with at least one being immediately ostracised as an eccentric just for trying to make the whole gruelling process a little more interesting.

And whats it like being president or VP of a student union? Well, it’s an incredible experience, in which you act as the spearhead of activism and political debate in one of the world’s most vibrant democracies. That is, if you went to university in France. Unfortunately, in the UK you get to work with the NUS, who’ve once again made the news with their spineless half-hearted attempts to hold the government to account. With an email sent to various unions advising that it was time to settle down with the raised tuition fees and start negotiating with the universities, they have essentially admitted defeat on the issue, which has been the only newsworthy activity involving the organisation for the past half decade. That’ll show ‘em not to mess with the NUS. Of course, most of this has nothing to do with the Scottish education system, which begs the question of why we’re part of the NUS at all, a question openly rejected by EUSA president Liz Rawlings at the last AGM.

There is, however, more to EUSA than the NUS. EUSA sabbaticals will also spend a lot of time writing letters to papers about how ineffectual parliament, the council and the university are run, probably using a mirror for inspiration.

As much as I wish there was some point to the whole affair, aside from improving the careers of those involved, there really isn’t, and as long as that’s the case I would rather not have these pointless elections and just let EUSA decide the positions internally. At the very least, it would dispense with the obscene publicity, thereby saving themselves thousands of pounds, improve the campus environment, waste less of everyone’s time, and relieve me of my nasty headache.