Forever friends?

Written by Rosie Lloyd Wednesday, 28 October 2009 14:27

The sheer quantity of superlatives my sister used to describe her first week at university was enough to have me utterly convinced that Freshers' Week was a fairy land of alcohol, petty debauchery, foam parties and, above all, a social scene that puts the International Congress of It-Girls to shame.

So imagine my surprise when I found myself seated in my never-to-be-refurbished Grant House bedroom, eyeballing Arthur's Seat and suffering from a mild panic attack. Thus was my first memory of Freshers' Week, and thanks to some extremely insightful parents and several bottles of wine, pretty much my last.
So here’s the situation: you've got a bunch of wide-eyed innocents, more or less in the throes of hormonal tumult, hurled into the midst of an entirely new society and, on the whole, utterly out of their comfort zone. Nearly every Edinburgh student I have interviewed has a plethora of crazy fresher anecdotes, ranging from waking up snuggled beside a smurf they definitely didn't go to bed with, to climbing scaffolding and getting arrested by the police.

Aided tenfold by the alcohol intake and chronic social panic, such antics create a mirage of shared experience upon which the baby-faced population of the university can begin to buddy up. Given the above evidence, it seems fair to say that the social side of Freshers' Week is, at least in part, a manifestation of mass insecurity.

Don’t get me wrong; for most people the experience was generally positive. However, I reckon I’m not alone in saying that, in the grips of such initial fear, I would have made friends with a lamp-post if I could have passed it off as an animate object. Believe me, there are those who tried.

So, you make friends with anyone and everyone, and why not? The statistics say that you meet more people in Freshers' Week than at any other time in your life. In fact, as my nauseatingly loved-up friend informed me, you are also most likely to meet/dance with/throw up on your future spouse at some point during this time. It’s alright - don't panic kids, I'm not suggesting that ten years down the line you'll be shacked up with Mr Personal-Hygiene Problem from across the hall, but it’s a scary thought.

Pukesome statistics aside, how many of you can remember more than about 15 percent of the people you met or spent time with during the first week of the semester? I, for one, met pretty much all of my closest friends within the first two days. However, there are definitely one or two with whom I shared my life story and deepest secrets, convinced I had made a friend for life, and to whom I now probably wouldn’t grace with much more than a passing nod.

Unfortunately, it is this fickleness that breeds so much doubt as to the longevity of Fresher’s ‘friendships’. Though, before we add this to the list of Freshers' Week evils the government is compiling, it is worth thinking about what actually makes or breaks a friendship in the first place.
If I implied Freshers' Week was scary the first time round, it was nothing compared to having to go through the process again, two years later in Spain. Needless to say, having to negotiate almost all of Europe’s language barriers with only the most rudimentary Spanish was almost impossible. Throw in a French clique the size of Nantes University, and you can imagine why I spent most of the first morning planning how to get back home pronto. Luckily, I manned up just in time to realise that it isn’t necessarily fluent communication that is important.

Sometimes, it's a sly grin from the person next you when they realise that you ordering an Apple Sourz gives them licence to ask for their own vaguely embarrassing beverage. Sometimes, it is when someone sings you a Britney Spears song because that’s the only ‘English’ they know. Sometimes, it’s the nod from the guy who also got chucked out of the lecture for not changing out of last night’s fancy dress. My point is that friends are made most effectively by actions instead of blank communication.

It's more than likely that most of the acquaintances made in Freshers' Weeks worldwide will be forgotten, along with that initial insecurity and ill-acquired nickname, after a few days.

At its worst Freshers' Week can be lonely, stressful and seemingly superficial. Regardless of this, I still say thumbs up to a system which allows you to meet everyone, discard the blips and ultimately make friends with as many lamp-posts as you want.

Comments

Add New