Guillermo del Toro will be immortalised in cinema history. He invokes magic, mystery and wonderment with the same effort it takes to tie shoelaces. But not this time. Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark (director Troy Nixey, with del Toro writing and producing) is a high-budget wreckage in the modern horror line-up. It is Pan’s Labyrinth in modern America, where seeing monsters means getting medicated. Overall, it is a montage of little screams and bright lights to offend the eyes. It gives you a headache.

It can be difficult to judge child-actor performances, so instead it can be said that the design was stunning. Nixey got into the business of film-making by putting together a wholly charming short film, Latchkey Lament. Dark has as much flavour, but it just jolts the senses with needless frequency. Between sensory overloads, the film tries to build tension with shifty gazes, slow steps and unrealistic reactions.
The film didn’t even have the decency to end without a sequel set-up. It breaks the cardinal rule of horror films: don’t show the monster. Furthermore, don’t have it whisper throughout the movie and then give it an onscreen conversation. The coolest part of the film was a trip to the library for some art history. How that didn’t raise any red flags during production is unbelievable.