It is the same story every year. You spend weeks trying to think of a Halloween costume both witty and not too physically repulsive, but which does not require you to spend half the semester’s student loan on elaborate accoutrements to never use again – before ending up in a mad panic on the 31st when you realise you have nothing to wear. If you are over the idea of heading down to the Edinburgh Bargain Store to pick up a scratchy polyester costume and would rather an outfit that is more topical and less of a fire hazard, then read on for some very 2016 ideas.
All of the Kardashians (minus Kim)
Looking for a group costume, but feel that the Spice Girls idea is a bit outdated? Why not persuade your friends to dress up as the Kardashians? With their sprawling family tree there are plenty of characters to choose from – from Kourtney and Khloe to baby North West, and even Kanye if you are feeling generous. The paparazzi will be following you all night. All you need is plenty of bodycon, some hair extensions, and maybe some strategically placed padding – and that one flatmate who has got late-onset freshers’ flu can be Kim (hiding from the media at home).
Donald Trump/Boris Johnson
Get your hands on a bleach blonde toupee, smarten up in your best suit, and nobody will be able to tell which of these infamous politicians you are trying to be – colour of tie, country to promise to restore to glory and degree of fake tan to be modified as preferred. For the best impact, spend the night shouting out inflammatory statements about Brexit/immigration/women and see how many voters (sorry, I mean party-goers) you can alienate.
Some of us are still of the belief that Halloween costumes should be somewhat scary – and if you don’t think vampire fangs or a witch’s hat will quite cut it this year, then here is something that actually might cause people to run away from you screaming. Maybe forgo any actual weapons, but a multicoloured wig, some enormous shoes borrowed from that friend who is 6’5” (we all have one), and a few splatters of fake blood should do the trick.
Do you feel bewildered by the social media-fuelled obsession with American gorilla Harambe? Or are you one of those outraged and saddened that his life was cruelly ended after only 17 short years? Do you even know how to pronounce Harambe? Either way, the obvious way to pay a tribute to the world’s favourite ape whilst proving you are up-to-date with the memes of the moment is to dress up as him. Put your own spin on the look with head-to-toe black fur accessories – or, proving that there is truly no limit to sexualisation in today’s society, a quick Amazon search will reward you with a sexy version, complete with a banana handbag. Classic Halloween.
Resurrected Jon Snow
Yes, this is the ultimate spoiler, but if people have not realised, five months on, that Jon Snow is not really dead, then they need to up their binge-watching game. Just slip on all the black leather you have in your wardrobe and top off the look with some animal hide (a fur coat will do if you haven’t had time to skin your own alpaca). Then make sure you don’t shave for a week or so and use some white face paint to give you that risen-from-the-dead pallor. Google Images also seems to go by the adage of Snow by name, Snow by nature – so to be really authentic you might need to put in a quick order for some white confetti. It’s all about the finishing touches.
[Image: Petr Kratochvil @ Public Domain Images]