Kong: Skull Island

Kong: Skull Island is the sort of film you might think will kill two hours quickly. It doesn’t. This uninspired, dumb and substantially dull pulp isn’t worth its cast, your time or anyone’s money. At the very least, my hope was for the 11-year-old boy in me to be unashamedly entertained but, frankly, it even failed to meet this expectation.
To go into the details of the plot is a waste of time, but to briefly summarise: a big ape, a group of Americans and some large lizard-monsters get into a fight; people get crushed, helicopters explode, someone utters a half-witted one liner, King Kong beats his chest and so on.

The film features a star-studded cast including the likes of Tom Hiddleston, Samuel L Jackson and Brie Larson; all of who fail to deliver any decent performances thanks to the clunky, humourless script.
Kong: Skull Island is one of those films where, on reflection, you can’t remember any of the characters’ names, but can remember the names of the actors who sold-out to play them.

There was a point where part of me questioned if John Goodman performed well because a pang of sadness struck me when he was eaten by a lizard – but this was most probably a by-product of him being a great actor in other films. His performance in this film generated no remorse.

The only redeeming feature of the film is its nostalgic 70s soundtrack featuring classics by Iggy Pop, Sabbath and Bowie. It’s a shame smaller budget productions are unable to afford the rights to songs by artists like these because they really are wasted on crummy pre-fight montages of troops kickin’ back drinking Buds. All in all, this cliché after cliché cinematic experience will leave you bored and disappointed, so just avoid it if you can.

 

Image: Gage Skidmore 

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