Lad culture has kept sexism on the comedy radar, but has the joke gone too far? By Katie MacPherson

Working in a DIY store is not what I would call the most glamorous job for a teenage girl. I would have much rather worked for Topshop or H&M. My prejudices were completely sexist. I had no interest in working in such a male dominated environment, but I needed the money so I stuck with it. Four years on, I know a lot about home care and I also know a lot about having to deal with this perspective as an employee. I have never been shocked at the general opinion of customers concerning the girls where I work, but a few weeks ago I was pushed over the edge by a woman who uttered the accursed line “can I speak to a man please?” I get the impression that many people don’t trust what I have to say just because I’m a girl in a home improvement store and therefore wouldn’t know anything about roof felting or varnish.

I think it can be easier for women to get away with sexism because we are often the immediate victims. Here’s the thing, an expectation that girls will fail in certain ways alludes to the fact that we expect men to succeed in them. Now, while being told that you are not good enough because you are a girl is wrong, in my opinion it is also trivial. Women don’t have to engage with sexist remarks because we immediately have the upper hand, we are elevated above the speaker of the remark because they are the one with the problem. Men, however, I think have a trickier time of it. The stereotypes that surround men and boys, in particular the ‘lad’ image, I think must be pretty hard to live up to.

This image of going out, partying hard, sleeping with tons of girls and doing stupid dares must be unrealistic. The respect gained by a shocking amount of guys for downing a dirty pint or eating something disgusting has to be seen to be believed. Such acts cause them to be revered by their fellow lads, yet women are somehow still meant to find them attractive. Here, I have to admit to my own sexism. I get annoyed at the lad mentality; I used to see it as this club women were barred from because women who do the same kind of thing are usually branded as vulgar, slutty or just plain weird.

However, when I was researching this article I looked up truelad.com. I thought it was going to be like FML but exclusive or, rather, excluding. Instead of reading the hundreds of stories of derogatory sex and antics I was treated to some pretty emotional tributes to men and boys all over the world. Among the stories were some beautiful tributes to dead sons, fathers, brothers’ uncles and friends. I felt a bit ashamed at my jealousy, after all, women get the sisterhood thing and no one minds if we are vulgar in each other’s company. But I think it’s hard for women to relate sometimes because being a lad looks fun and rather than looking at it as a way for men to connect, it can be misinterpreted as men looking to undermine women.

The fact is we can all be mean to each other and we can all feel like we are being excluded from a world that offers more than the one we have got. I wish now I hadn’t got angry with the women in the shop who asked for a man’s help. It may not have been the wisest thing to say but I don’t believe she meant it the way it sounded. Unless we stop emphasising the differences between men and women we are going to victimise people just for trying to connect with their own sex.