Make up your mind, man

Written by Emma Leah Segal Wednesday, 19 November 2008 14:22

Emma Leah Segal takes a critical look at male vanity. Cue the guyliner.

Whilst reading ‘The Skinny’ magazine this week, I was struck by a particular article debating the pros and cons of ‘guyliner’ (eyeliner on guys). Like Kant’s Categorical Imperative or International Law’s non-derogable norms, a list of the 3 main fashion rules for guys is essential knowledge for the discerning gentleman, in order to reach personal conclusions about what best suits him. However you view these rules, men, take heed of them.

Rule 1: APROACH GUY-MAKE UP and METROSEXUALITY with trepidation: Guyliner is acceptable if one is an indie-loving, Russell Brand worshipper with eyes and cheek bones to rival Brandon Flowers or Johnny Depp. On very few guys does this bold look succeed. It must, naturally, be combined with compulsory skinny jeans, a Smiths’ ‘Meat is Murder’ t-shirt and out of bed hair. Having said this, steer clear of man-foundation, eyebrow plucking and excessive grooming. No excuses.

Rule 2: WARDROBE ESSENTIALS: skinny jeans may not suit every man, however a few pairs of well fitting jeans are essentials one should invest in. A good jacket and double breasted coat are also essential and can show off your personal sense of style (you may be a traditionalist, preferring Burberry or Barbour, or a rebel, choosing vintage tweed or a fitted pea coat in an on-trend bloc colour). One good suit (or a kilt if you really want the ladies to melt) for special occasions is a must. However, NEVER team said suit with Converse or Vans. At best it makes you look like a pubescent teenager attempting to ‘stick it to the man’ at prom. Furthermore, in addition to having a selection of shirts and t-shirts, always ensure you have some good quality neutral coloured cardigans and jumpers in tactile fabrics such as wool and cashmere. The benefits of investing in these are twofold – it provides you withinsulation and you instantly become more strokable for the ladies.

Rule 3: SUPPLEMENT THE TROIKA TO AVOID BECOMING CLONES: The convenience of going to Topshop, Urban Outfitters and Gap for all your clothes is soon outweighed by the fact that every guy walking down the street has exactly the same checked-shirt as you. Thus, like women who take their fashion seriously, you should aim to supplement items bought in this troika with vintage items a-la Alex Turner from the Arctic Monkeys, customisation, American apparel and, if you can, designer items. It is essential to stay in the loop to adapt your wardrobe to the trends – I would keep an eye out for the K by Karl Lagerfeld collection and Dolce and Gabbana men for formal clothing and Dries Van Noten and the general Dover Street Market collective for cutting edge investment pieces.
In conclusion, there is absolutely no excuse for you to be clueless in fashion, guys. No longer a women’s responsibility, you should become sensible fashion conscious entities in your own right. Banish the tracksuit bottoms, ban the baseball caps, break the stereotype of being a less fashionable sex! The most important thing in developing your own style and influences is confidence – you can pull off just about anything with the right attitude.

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