When I was eight years old, my mother bought me a body warmer. I refused to wear it because I thought it looked silly. She told me it was practical and that it would keep me warm. This made me want to wear it even less, as the ‘practical’ argument always has a detrimental effect on my opinions. This is the first fashion based decision I remember making independently. An eight year old boy, happy to wear sandals and socks, making a stand against a bright orange body warmer on the basis of the potential implication it may have on my fashion...

Eleven years later, I came to Edinburgh to find a city full of them, however due to multiculturalism or maybe our pretentious culture, these armless heat-containers had been transformed into ‘gilets’.  I would like to apologise to anyone who owns a gilet, as if you are one of those who, unlike my eight year old self, have decided to wear a gilet for purely practical reasons (as I’ve heard they are actually quite warm), I have no argument with you. When you live in a city where snow is predicted in October, you can be expected to do everything you can to avoid the bite.

However, for those who popped into Jack Wills to update your wardrobe, and thought that the bright orange £98 gilet would boost your fashion credentials, I take polite issue with you.It’s not that gilets are hideously ugly or offensive to the eye. I just can’t understand how they have become a staple in the student wardrobe. Whilst most jumpers have individual features which make them look different from each other, to me, all gilets look the same, making me assume that all gilet-bearers are the same. To give them some credit, Jack Wills have attempted to distinguish themselves from the rest by adding a fur-lined hood. By adding a hood – which is in fact detachable – they are significantly increasing its practicality, thus increasing my problem with it. 

What annoys me most is the name 'gilet'. Foreign words are commonplace in popular British parlance (see what I did there?), we use ‘chaise-longue’ because ‘long chair’ wouldn’t appropriately describe the glamorous furniture, we use ‘deja-vu’ to add a bit of enigma to ‘seen before’, but what we are discussing here, are body warmers. They are neither glamorous nor enigmatic; they are down jackets adapted so that you can move your arms. Whoever managed to change the word to gilet deserves applause because they have managed to transform an awkwardly useful item of clothing into an exotic must-have. I'm not judging those who want or own a body warmer. Instead I ask you to question their inflated status, and urge you to  avoid their pretentious name - it's just not practical.