Mr Market

When Moses descended from Mount Sinai, he brought with him the power of the Word of God, written by His hand on stone tablets. The words so inscribed form the basis of our moral civilisation today, and yet, lo! Before us, Moses has once again descended from the mountaintop to deliver the Word of God! Mr Market requests hushed, respectful voices as he recites these words to his faithful followers.

In the years before time, there existed money. But, having no form or purpose, we shall call this money Nothing. So, as God came upon Nothing, He, in his infinite wisdom, decided to create Something. Over seven long metaphorical days, He built Creation. And so it is thus that formless Nothing became Creation, and, through God’s perfection, Creation was Paradise, though we, the Fallen, may never partake of it. However, merely to gaze upon what is known as Paradise is enough to give satisfaction to the massing hordes. So it is with great horror that we see that Paradise may have an ugly scar besmirching the otherwise perfectly prim lawns. Today, Paradise is better known as Berkshire Hathaway Inc., and the new scar is the $1.699 billion investment made in Tesco PLC, the ailing supermarket, now worth just $880.5 million. Who knew Paradise could make a loss?

Related News

Say something

The Student Newspaper 2016