One day at a time: how to succeed in your long-distance love

Whether you have been together for five years or for five months, going separate ways is undeniably hard. You probably thought about it for a long time, and, after talking to all of your friends and making a list comparing the positive and negative aspects of a long-distance relationship, you decided to go for it.

The first months were the worst. You missed being a couple of metres away from your significant other and longed to go to sleep next to him or her every time you lay down and closed your eyes. After that came the adjustment phase, where you got used to the time difference and to just living apart from each other. But after some time, especially without knowing when you would see each other again, it became really painful and you might have started thinking that it was too much to handle.

However, many couples stay together after years of living apart, even if they get to meet once, maybe twice a year. I have been there two times – yeah, the first time didn’t work – and from my own experience, here are a couple of things you might want to take into account when diving into this modern-type of relationship.

1. Skype, skype, skype: Even if it is once a week, it is important that you keep communication flowing smoothly. No matter how much you Whatsapp or text, you need to see each other and speak words out loud. Sometimes different time zones will pose a burden, but it is necessary that you make some time in your busy schedule.

2. Give yourselves space: When you go out with your friends, you need to be with them. The fact that you are apart from your boyfriend or girlfriend does not mean that it is fine to glue your finger to your phone and talk to him or her during the whole night. Just think of how it would be if you were living in the same town. Friends-night is one thing, and couple time is couple time. 

3. Trust each other: It has happened to me (it does happen, I must confess). Being far from the person you love can trigger unexplainable jealousy that did not exist before you went separate ways. You can find the reason behind that urge to be connected on social media 24/7 to be originating here. But if you are right for each other, distance will not make both of you behave any differently than you did before.

4. Communication is key: And by that I don’t mean texting ‘what are you doing?’ every two hours. I mean talking about your real feelings, what is going on inside your hearts and if something needs to change, work together towards it. There is nothing more disappointing than having a relationship fail because you didn’t talk your problems through.

5. Spice it up: As any other relationship, it can get boring, particularly if you don’t see each other and cannot vary the activities you do – going to the movies, cooking together, and so on. Try to find ways of surprising your loved one. Send her flowers on an ordinary day, or write him a poem and send it on the post, so that he can read it in your own handwriting. This will ensure you keep an original relationship where you do not get tired of being apart.

Apart from these, there are things that you will realise that work fine for both of you. You need to find what these are, and stick to them but not so much that it becomes a boring routine. Count the days until you see each other again but do not push it: live one day at a time and hopefully, it won’t be long. Good luck!

 

Image: Dvortygirl [Flickr]

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