When two tribes go to war, a point is all that you can score...

When two tribes go to war, a point is all that you can score...

For a game that features two psychopathic mercenaries head butting Iraqi insurgents to death, EA’s co-op killathon Army of Two did a pretty good job of sneaking in under the Student radar. Despite the game being released way back in March, only now have we mustered the sheer level of suppressed rage needed to fully appreciate something as brutal, hectic and fucking loud as this. (Editor’s Note: The authors of this article nicked Tech’s copy of Army of Two and are being made to review it as punishment)

Right from the word “Hooah” the player is dumped into a frenzied Battle of Mogadishu seen through the eyes of Elliot Salem and Tyson Rios, two oversized frat boys who would no doubt brand John McCain a pussy for not dropkicking his way out of the Hanoi Hilton back in ‘Nam. From there on in, it’s business as usual with the duo slugging their way through the Middle East, China and even Miami, tackling a relentless barrage of heavily armed, largely beige Enemies of Freedom^TM.

Take a suspiciously familiar Gears of War third-person co-op format, slather on the gimmicks and you’ve got Army of Two in a nutshell. Anyone who’s played the game will know that an incredibly short campaign is thankfully padded out with weapons shopping and customization - you’ll spend as much time adding go-faster stripes to your face mask and gold-plating to your weaponry as you will bringing the pain on the terrorists.

Army of Two has a completely arbitrary plotline involving treacherous PMCs and a bill to privatise the military sprinkled with oh-so-topical references to 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina. The gorgeously rendered, ultra-violent cut scenes contain action set-pieces that put the repetitive gameplay to shame - watch out for the poor bloke who gets hurled off a moving train into a signpost.

Artfully concealed among all this slaughter, corruption and gleefully un-PC subject matter is EA’s true intention: to bring you closer to your bro, bro. Since the game is tailor-made as a co-operative experience, it would fall on its Kevlar-plated arse without a mate to play it by your side. The computer-assisted single player game, while impressively intuitive, just doesn’t compare. You need a friend to help you decide how best to customise your new bazooka, point out the faintly homoerotic undertones in the Rios/Salem dichotomy and laugh at the hilarious script, which features a mid-firefight discussion about the merits of the Wu Tang Clan and heavy use of the word “fucko”.

The co-op approach adds some much-needed depth with the player shielding their partner with car doors, hauling them over obstacles, tending to their bullet wounds and going back to back when surrounded for some bullet time destruction. As far as vehicles go, there’s the standard “I shoot, you drive” hovercraft operation and a parachuting/sniping combo in which the heroes descend onto the battlefield simultaneously firing, steering and spooning. One real innovation is Army of Two’s trademark Aggro meter system, whereby one mercenary attracts all the enemy attention so the other can sneakily flank and subsequently slaughter the hordes of oncoming terrorists. Naturally, there’s also an entirely pointless option to high five your buddy when he takes out a turret or smack him around for not taking out that suicide bomber.

Shallow, good-looking and aggressive, Army of Two might remind you of an old girlfriend - although presumably with less grenades. It’s far from the perfect shooter but if you’re desperate for some third person, gun totin’ action with ‘Two’ in the title this will at least tide you over until that Gears of War sequel comes out.