Red Alert, Red Alert, it's a catastrophe... but don't panic, ain't nothing going on but history... of Red Alert.

Red Alert, Red Alert, it's a catastrophe... but don't panic, ain't nothing going on but history... of Red Alert.

If you’ve never had to type frantically into a black void of text because your computer had too much memory, you’re not a real PC gamer. Don’t worry: 12 years later trying to play Red Alert is a similar experience on Windows Vista, the operating system with more bugs than a hooker’s crotch. The bad news is that trying to play Red Alert on a modern computer is an often-frustrating experience; the good news is that it’s now available to download for free.

Electronic Arts were once seen as the worst computer game publisher around; peddlers of sloppily designed rubbish and masters of annual sporting tat distinguishable only in the number after the game’s name. Times have changed and EA have cleaned up their act, as the release of brilliant original titles like Dead Space and Mirror’s Edge shows. The all-new friendly EA have also released the original Red Alert for free in its entirety to promote the launch of Red Alert 3. After downloading, there’s only one thing left to do: kick Uncle Joe’s ass.

Red Alert is set in an intriguing alternate universe, providing you can suspend your disbelief long enough to take it all in. The Allies use Albert Einstein’s Chronosphere device to travel back in time to the 1920s and eliminate Adolf Hitler. Without the rise of Nazi Germany, Russia’s power remains unchecked to the West and it launches an invasion into Eastern Europe.

Luckily, tongues remain firmly in cheek throughout the silly video briefing before each mission. Rather than trying to over-dramatise the story, Red Alert firmly embraces its ridiculousness. It’s a necessary step: whenever you’re carrying out orders for Stalin, an evil dictator who actually murdered millions of innocent people, any separation between the game and real life is appreciated.

Playing as either the Allies or the Soviets, Red Alert offers a game of frantic pace and nuanced strategy. Unlike other strategy games of the time like Total Annihilation, the two sides have radically different capabilities for players to exploit. The Allies rely on advanced technology and lightweight, fast units to achieve their objectives, while Mother Russia uses its brute strength to crush its enemies underfoot like a boot stamping on a human face. As one of the first games to incorporate competitive play over the new-fangled Internet, Red Alert quickly became a favourite of budding generals the world over.

Returning to Red Alert in 2008 is like being reacquainted with a friend you haven’t seen in years. At first, you’re a little apprehensive, but the feeling quickly dissipates when you realise they haven’t changed a bit. While Red Alert lacks some of the features that we’ve come to expect from a modern strategy title such as queuing multiple units for training and troops that don’t get stuck in every part of the landscape, it retains that vital fun factor that made it so compelling in 1996.

Another blip in the timeline occurred in 1998- this time in real life- when developers Westwood Studios were gobbled up by EA around the same time as Sims developer Maxis. Following the release of the underwhelming Command and Conquer: Tiberian Sun in 1999, fans of the series were worried over the direction a future Red Alert title would take. Thankfully these fears were laid to rest when Red Alert 2 was released.

All of the features and quirks gamers knew and loved about Red Alert, from the pantomime cut scenes to the ridiculous ethnic stereotyping and characterisation, were present in its sequel. Players were entrusted with mission objectives including turning the Eiffel Tower into a lightning rod and attacking a naval shipyard with psychically controlled giant squid. It’s all suitably anarchic and the antithesis of the hard-boiled seriousness of most strategy games of the era.

The imminent release of Red Alert 3, with its armoured attack bears and shrink-ray equipped helicopters, suggests that the series is in no rush to grow up. As long as it retains the addictive and frenetic action the series is known for, we wouldn’t have it any other way. To quote from Command and Conquer’s iconic slap headed evildoer Kane, “He who controls the past, commands the future. He who commands the future conquers the past.” While it’s a bit of a stretch to claim Red Alert 3 commands the future of strategy games, the series has left a legacy that few titles can boast. Besides, any game that let you blow up a nuclear submarine with trained dolphins was always going to be one to remember.

Download Red Alert from http://tinyurl.com/redtro